All good things (and some silly things too)

Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.

-- Holden Caulfield,The Catcher in the Rye

To round up, this week's headlines ... at least the ones worth remembering anyway. Another week, another colorful dinosaur, ho hum. If you think you've had a slow week, take a look at these spectacular sloths. Then read all about one of the biggest amphibians in the world, the one called the hanzaki -- whatever it is, it's no crunchy frog ! If that has whetted your appetite, watch a frog jump in slow motion, find out how rotting fish can give off clues about fossilization, how to talk prairie-dog Latin, why hyena families are no laughing matter and how Pluto is turning red.

Meanwhile, our planet continues to cycle on according to the fixed law of gravity, and has gone almost full circle around the sun since this blog began blathering into the void. So, dear readers (if any there be), the time has come to let this ex-llama pine for the fjords. If you've tagged along all this while, remember to collect your free hug, and bookmark this collection of websites to help you stay abreast of the latest:

BBC Science & Nature
Quirks and Quarks
Not Exactly Rocket Science
Smithsonian Magazine

So long and thanks to all ye fish.

Purple prose

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."

-- The Walrus and the Carpenter

Some primates have learnt that brevity is the soul of wit, but at least one particular ape seems to keep rambling on. In this week's ramble, find out why monarch butterflies have king-size wings and why bats and dolphins echo each other on a deeper level than we imagined.

In what has to be the story of the week, definitive evidence of colorful dinosaurs ! Some theropods were browny-orange, or so the experts say. But don't be disappointed, all those of you who were counting on them to be yellow with purple spots. Who knows what new colors we'll unearth as we dig deeper ? They were all birds of a feather after all. And those maniraptors do have some lovely plumage.

If that leaves you hungry for more colorful tales, here is one reminding us that it's not just reptiles and beetles ... frogs can do it too ! As well as build some rather resilient cradles of froth when they're finished putting their colors to lurid use.

Finally, a riddle: when is an asteroid like a chameleon ?
Answer: read on and find out, it's out of this world.

The night is fine, you ought to admire the view ... rise high, and enjoy the loveliest moon shine of the year !

A system, very much like yours

If you work for a living, why do you kill yourself working?

-- Tuco, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

First off, scramble through a noxious world, all just to find a caveful of crystals. Then for a sequel, dive into some photographs of the good, the bad and the beautiful animals inhabiting the sea. Then round it off by trawling through these videos from the deep trenches and sea a few creatures more.

In other tales, how to float a lemur (this is not a Python sketch), those utterly promiscuous New England birds, fur seals going after king-size snacks (and some fur seal audio clips, if you fancy a bit of cold desert afterwards).

This one is not really about living, burping things but there is a fruit involved so that's my excuse: read the original hand-written first version of a famously apple-cryphal tale. Finally, if you've always believed that evolution is just another silly game, here is an article showing that games can evolve too.

There are two kinds of people in this world, my friends, so play fair and may the funniest genes win.

Have limbs, will travel

千里の道も一歩から
(A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.)

-- Japanese proverb

More like a single flap, for some. Such as those wanderlust-iest of migrators, arctic terns. It isn't just terns that do it though, here is another article this week about some not-so-well-known travelers: puffin peregrinations. Undersea tales of the fish police, what gills are good for and wait for it ... tool-using stingrays ! And in other news, orchid-pollinating crickets and why Neanderthals were just made up.

In pictures, find out how aircraft contrails can form clouds, and why identifying narwhals is anything but a fin-ished task. Two video gems that I came across recently -- a wild tribute to my favorite Kurosawa: Riparian Rashomon, and a wonderful talk by someone who has been an inspiration for a very long time: Rom Whitaker on gharials and cobras. The epilogue to the talk is this case of the crocodile blues from back before the llamasaurit - watch the video clip of gharial hatchlings, and for good measure pay a visit to the gharial in Romer Hall. Round it off with an article that KT sent in, about new research showing that birds breathe like crocodiles (here is a Quirks & Quarks interview with Dr. C G Farmer, for more about one-way lungs).

Finally, a couple of excellent science blogs that I stumbled across:
Tetrapod Zoology and Not Exactly Rocket Science.

Bookmark them, stray forth and explore !

Footloose and fancy free

A week of weird and wonderful tales. Mudsucker whales, the giant Amazonian pirarucu (fish for it in the galleries), the adaptive radiation of orcas, toads with an inflated sense of self, and another reminder that

plants are designed
to mess with an insect's mind:
ant not just acacia-nally.

After reading that last one, if you need to be reassured that animals aren't all idiotic, here is a roundup of 2009's brainiest.

If a mammal can stand on its own two feet, why shouldn't a fish stand on its four ? Tomorrow's issue of Nature carries a report about four-footed fossil trackways from Poland dating back about 397 million years. Yes, that's 20 million years older than our beloved Arctic half-burbot Tiktaalik -- so much for neatly wrapped bundles and happily ever after. Whatever it was, it was bigger than Ichthyostega, it had five fingers. And walking along a tidal flat on a balmy day in the early Devonian, it left behind one heck of an ancient carbon footprint.

This just might turn out to be a perfect year for walkingfish.

Off the deep end

Yo makin' me mad sucker, cold water never hurt nobody!

-- Mr. T

Many tales from the deep sea this week. Some good detective work solves the mystery of the migrating manatees. Quite a poisoner this one, find out why a barnacle loads up on bromine. Spectacular images, with photos from the Seamount expedition, and a slideshow of Antarctic animals and their life in cold water. If you have an inordinate fondness, nay an obsession even, for icy cold water, then check out Polar Obsession. After waiting for almost a year to get my hands on it, all I can say is ... it's simply marvelous. Here is a radio interview with Paul Nicklen - don't miss the tale of the motherly leopard seal.

Speaking of the jaws that bite: as if being a dinosaur wasn't wicked enough, here is a story about a bird-eating dino with venom ! For no reason at all, check out this short but beautiful video of a perfect six-point landing.

In what seems to be a sort of self-defense against fresh fruit, chimpanzees invent anvils and fruit cleavers. And in a development that would make The Jungle Book's King Louie do cartwheels in joy, they might even be on their way to figuring out the secret of fire ... I wanna be like you hoo hoo ! But if your visiting hominid relatives trash the premises over the holidays and cause your inner neat-freak endless grief, don't fret - you might just have inherited an ancient gene for hygiene.

Many cheers and much mirth to all ye hominids on earth. Season's Greetings !

Earth beings are cool

Monkeys that talk to each other, stringing syllables along and making up words. Stingless bees that mummify invading beetles. An octopus that runs with coconuts. No shortage of strange shenanigans, as always.

In other news, a new warbler species from Vietnam. It's a Yellow-vented, leaf-chewing, black-tipped warbler. Or something like that. Whatever it is though, it's got lovely plumage. And speaking of birds, read all about the little theropod brother of T-rex (another link here).

This week's hot videos: an undersea volcano, and the rare Cross River gorillas. Leaf through pictures of meerkats, check out an atlas of Mercury.

To round up, a story about bacteria that break down rocks, zapping them with electrons instead of breathing oxygen like the rest of us: try to resist, Electric Salmonella ? Since a good many dramatic situations can also end with screaming however, I'll leave you with this story about the rather tasteless violence that some spiders indulge in. Until next time, happy neurotic irresponsibility !

Heart-warming tales

From the animal world this week, giraffes with a heavy heart, chirpy pandas, warring baboons and wary tadpoles. After impaling myself on some cactus spines recently ("embedded journalism" ?) I have a new-found respect for plant engineering. It doesn't stop with the design of barbs and thorns though, they use aerodynamics and fluid mechanics too: vine gliders and vein flowerers.

We've all heard there might be water on Mars, but cows ? Well whatever is out there, it is certainly spewing out a lot of methane. How now, red planet ?

To save a mockingbird

Darwin had a hand in this one. Probably a trigger finger too, but Darwin's mockingbird could help save some threatened populations. On the extinctionary note, find out what happened to all the giant deer, and if we had a hand in wiping out the mammoths.

Now you've heard of horses traveling long distances, but sea horses ?? Maybe there's even a hitch-hiker's guide to the deep sea. And for this week's pun-ch line, the one about the quick brown fox that wasn't quite quick enough: Ibex you can't catch me !

Before you go away, the llamasaurus decided to jump on the bandwagon and celebrate Darwin before the year is out. So announcing ..

The Darwinart Contest

It's easy, it goes like this:

1. Send in your entries for pieces of art -- books, movies, photos, stamps, kitchen utensils, ... -- that best celebrate Darwin or Evolution or great big 19th century Beards. They'll get posted up here for everyone to enjoy.

2. Write in, tell us what you like, vote for your favorite Darwinart.

That's it, told you it was simple. And to start it off, here's one of the best music videos of all time -- evolve, enjoy and let the soundtrack bring out your inner grey cockatoo.

Life, in three and a half minutes

P.S. It looks like somebody else decided to do their own Darwinarting ... here's a slideshow of some great photos from the Darwin 200 Photographic Competition.

Devils from the deep sea

There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society, where none intrudes,
By the deep Sea, and music in its roar;
I love not Man the less, but Nature more.

-- Byron, Childe Harold's Pilgrimage

Many tales from the deep this week: giant stingrays, secret lives of mantas, tree (eating) crabs, corals eating jellyfish, right-flippered turtles and fish deep in the trenches.

The big story of course is the one about Dino Two-Legs, the sauropod that stood on its own two feet.

If you've got the stomach for it, read all about gladiatorial bees that fight to the death. If you don't, you can still look at this slideshow of wildlife from the Yucatan.

Oh, and it's official. There's water on the moon !

Life as we know it

The BBC television series Life has been generating a number of excellent news articles and videos. Can't wait for the DVD to come out ! This week from Life, tales of dancing sea dragons, humming (and dancing) birds and pelicans with a fowl appetite (it gannet get any worse really).

From other news, beaked whale superpods, the smell of salamanders, and for those of you settling into the first week of winter: furry stories of white black bears and grizzly polar bears. Have a warm-blooded one.

Mysterious and spooky

This week in an ooky mood, hunting seals as they should, hunting reindeer from the sky, how the frog killing fungus works, and giant web-spinning spiders.

Neat, sweet and petite: bioprecipitation (or how bacteria make rain !), why sparrows sing the same ol' song, a wee pachycephalosaur perhaps ?

And finally the kooks. Humpbacks battling, lizards walking on water, barnacle epoxy (move over gorilla tape), rock and roll toads, un-bird-like birds, pumped up starfish, (pa)renting sharks and introducing ... Big Brother of Kronosaurus.

They really are a scream. Happy Halloween !

Ilium, ischium, 'ooray

After a long summer hibernation, I figured it was about time to kick this lazy mammal-like dinosaur back into action. (Note the careful ambiguity about who exactly was doing the hibernating.)

This year will be different, hopefully with less bogose prose and more useful links. So here's a roundup of the summer's best. Follow the links and read on about gulls eating whales, tall tales from the trees, how the race is hotting up, what beetles pine for, about twerps that rule and more.

More such as the advent of Chimptube (TM), how to get under a hadrosaur's skin, the gangs of Serengeti and how flower power is still sweeping across the world.

For no particular reason at all, keep clicking and find out how to make beeballs, who exactly is the Real McDecoy, why
turtles find it so hard to open up and why "dig deeper" might be an older motto than you think.

And if you've been nursing a craving for bad cetacean jokes, never despair, I wouldn't leave you without one.

Do you know what the whale said, when her seventeenth cousin (thrice removed) decided to pay a visit ?

No I don't, what did she say ?

She said, "Come on in deer, the water's wonderful !"

Whalecome back !

You've got to hand it to them

Can pretty pictures make up for the thousand words that follow ? Hoping that they might, here is an audio slideshow about art inspired by Darwin, and some photos of amphibians and insects discovered from the Cordillera del Condor in the Andes.

Turning over a new leaf, not
Did you hear the one about the Neanderthal who went for a walk in the North Sea ? That joke may be old, but it's still quite historical. And it shows how much we can learn from just bone fragments these days. Heady stuff.

Now I'm as guilty as the next man of sometimes feigning illness, to skip out of school and other boring events. But that ploy, it turns out, just takes a leaf out of Nature's ol' trick book. A plant has been found in the Ecuadorian jungle that mimics the effect of leaf damage from caterpillars, pretending to be sick to avoid the boring attentions of mining moths. Who said little white lies were bad ?

Squid ears and chicken fingers
What is the sound of one tentacle flapping ? If this latest bit of research is anything to go by, squid and octopus might actually know the answer. But how do they hear without ears ? For the solution to that koan, read about the latest find in cephalopod sound.

This one's got paleontology in a bit of a flap lately. How did the three-fingered hands and feet of birds and dinosaurs develop ? While embryological data from birds seemed to show that the middle three out of five develop into fingers, paleontologists believed that it was the first three digits in theropods that did. Well, when you want to solve such deep dilemmas, just go find yourself another lovely fossil from China -- this time, a strange ceratosaur with barely visible thumbs. Take a look at this excellent article about the article. And if you listen carefully, you just might hear those three fingers clapping overhead.

These raptors, though, might be too busy cleaning house to be able to stop and clap. With housing markets the way they are these days, there's nothing quite like an ancestral home.

Ant nurses, baboon chaperones
More recent insights into primate behavior, this time from Kenyan baboons. Apparently, male and female baboons form platonic friendships, where the bond helps new mothers get better access to food and security. Let's just be friends, she said.

This article is about the recovery of blue butterfly colonies in Britain, but it shows how the welfare of one species can depend on the behavior of another. Blue butterfly caterpillars mimic ant grubs, get carried inside the ant colony and subsequently feast away on ant eggs for almost a year. But when the ants moved out, the butterflies couldn't complete their life cycle, and the blue butterfly went extinct. The supreme interconnectedness of every little thing.

Writing of ants, here's one about some lazy ants. Ants sleep, some of them sleep a lot. So much that they live about 10 times longer than the ones that don't sleep so much. Check out the video too, and until next time, sleep long and prosper.

It's all about sex, really

"For once you must try not to shirk the facts." - Bertolt Brecht

I have to begin with an apology for the over-long Silence of the Llamasaurus, blaming it mostly on a certain article that had me quite depressed. But at length the ceratopsians did stop screaming, so onward ho, from horned dinosaurs to other horny things.

Fair trade
Chimpanzees, those mirrors held up to humans, are at it again. Not tool use this time, but something more complicated and crafty, in the nature of trade. For the first time, the hypothesis that chimpanzees exchange meat for sex has been confirmed by observations in the wild. I guess there's no such thing as a free lunch after all.

Sadistic spiders, agamous ants
The Amazons might have been a race of all-female warriors, but a species of Amazonian ants has gone one step further and done away with males entirely. Purely parthenogenetic colonies of clones tending their neat gardens of asexual fungi ... so who needs males anyway ?

Some spiders might ask the same question, especially when they were having holes drilled into their abdomens by their partner's pedipalps to deposit sperm. How could an animal that liquefies its prey and slowly sucks them dry ever be this sadistic, one wonders. What do marquises and human adjectives have to do with things older than words, one wonders. Are catching flies and wrapping up food all that they use those silken ropes for, one wonders. Pair bonding, arachnid style.

Not only fine feathers
A sense of rhythm is often considered a uniquely human attribute. What would a walrus or a fox know about the difference between a waltz and a foxtrot after all. Perhaps more than we imagine, if this recent find is anything to go by. And I used to think dancing was for the birds.

A number of cultures depict crows as clever animals, be it Odin's wise pets or Trickster Raven in the Pacific Northwest. But their talent for creative problem-solving also makes them one of Nature's great engineers, swimming rodents with large front teeth aside. Read all about tool-toting crows (and check out those videos). Could I please be bird-brained too ?

Fancy footwork
Tiktaalik fans, take note. Another beautiful 'missing link' has been dug out of Nunavut and given a native name. And this time it has all its legs intact. Pujilla darwini ("Darwin's young sea mammal" in Inuktitut-English) is a transitional form between fully marine pinnipeds and their lake-swimming otter-like ancestors, and at 23,000,000 years it is the oldest seal fossil found so far. Lots of great details and links are on the Canadian Museum of Nature's Pujilla page, so take a look and dig deeper around this strolling seal.
Hopefully all that should tide you over till next week. Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to plead a headache and go fall asleep immediately afterwards.

You are what you eat

Saw-scaled viper are the tiniest (and among the deadliest) of the venomous snakes. About twenty inches long, they make rasping sounds by rubbing their scales together when threatened. Now a piece of research has shown something new about the venom of these snakes: its composition and potency varies across habitats, depending on what the vipers eat. The natural selection of venom, or how to pick your poison.

Red pandas have a sweet tooth. Not too surprising that a mammal should like its sugar, but they apparently prefer artificial sweeteners to the real thing ! Endangered they may be, but at least they won't get type II diabetes, these weight-watching pandas.

Here's a cool video that KT sent in: bubble-blowing dolphins.

Have an Egg-celent Easter, wherever you are.

The Right to Bear Arms

"There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live."
- chucknorrisfacts.com
Bare arms don't get much deadlier than the forelimbs of Chuck Norris. But long before the A-team prowled the earth, weapons were already being routinely used in male-male disputes a bit more important than bar fights. What is it about boys and guns though, you may ask. Darwin did too, when he discussed sexual selection in The Descent of Man. Popular examples of the bizarre body plans arising from sexual selection tend to revolve around ornaments and female mate choice: peacocks' tails and the lovely plumage of Norwegian blues and so on. But a recent review article takes a wide-ranging look at another piece of the sexual selection game: the evolution of animal weapons. The article has some fantastic artwork of weapons in all the major groups of animals, from spiny helmets in trilobites to wasp tusks to hadrosaur headgear - and it's well worth skimming through just to look at the pictures.

The survey points out that the exact mechanisms that lead to bizarre weaponry, like stag antlers or beetle horns, are not very well understood. But some important general rules seem to show up: elaborate weapons evolve for fighting when there are localized, defendable resources (food, burrows) that are attractive to females for feeding or egg-laying. And fights are less likely to break out when each opponent can evaluate the other's fighting ability effectively (or, why Bruce Lee does the nunchak dance). A fascinating article, and it's been great fun matching the figures from its pages with real examples from the galleries. So here are a couple of collages of knives and tusks and other bare arms. Don't forget to check out the giraffe weevil.

While photographing fossil weapons, I made the classic mistake of forgetting the Smilodon at the entrance. The next time, I'll remember to take a picture of that toothy smile on the big kitty cat. These next big cats though might not have been particularly good-humored. While every picture of North American extinct mammals includes sabertooths, lions usually seem to be forgotten. Lions ? Wait, don't they mostly chase wildebeest in the African savannah ? Not quite, as the ice age prairie was evidently just as exciting as today's African grasslands, with packs of giant lions chasing giant deer while giant elephants looked on. More about lions from not so long ago: Paleo leo (really more like Pleisto leo, but I have no willpower). And an older article about the giraffe-hunting lions of Kruger, that managed to find the best use for paved roads yet.

When up against packs of huge lions or deer with automatic weapons, sometimes it might be best to hide instead of running. Check out these images of animal camouflage; and remember that you just might evolve cubicle-colored camouflage if you sit inside for too long. So make sure you get out and enjoy the weather !

How could it be anything else ?

Spent too much time trying to understand wobbling tops, and it's left me with a woozy head. So without further ado, here are this week's tall tales.

Chicken feet and horse feathers
Specialized teeth and many of them in the same mouth - it is often great fun to look at Heterodontosaurus and see how the dinosaurs independently invented something that is one of the defining features of mammals. Guess what else ? Heterodontosaurids had feathers ! While feathered dromaeosaurs from China are .. err.. old hat, this latest fossil has raised a confusing little storm. All the feathered dinosaurs found thus far (and this includes those Oxford Street red-tailed hawks) are saurischians - the "lizard-hipped" kind of dinosaurs - which carry the popular image of being fast and deadly and carnivorous. This is the first time that one of the slower, herbivorous, bird-hipped dinosaurs has been found with feathers, or long filamenty things that might have been feathers anyway. The dino known as Tianyulong confuciusi - pretty darned confuciusing, methinks.

Another microraptor has been found, but this time it's North American. Yet another example of 'looking closely' winning over 'digging deeper', the specimen was rediscovered after sitting in a museum for 25 years. Hesperonychus ('evening claw') was a raptor the size of a small bird, possibly climbed trees and glided down off them. This fossil could shed more light on the famous "Did they take off by running fast on the ground ?" vs. "Did they leap off trees ?" debate - also known as the Airplane vs. Hang-glider question. What ever it did though, it sure wasn't chicken.

Blunderful life
This one is my favorite story of the week, mostly because I recently finished reading Wonderful Life, and because I can use bizarrely functional machines (read 'animals') to justify some of the bizarre things I've been guilty of building. Like some of the other Burgess Shale creatures, this one too was initially thought to be many different animals - the mouthparts, 'legs' and shell were each classified as other less strange creatures. Until recent work by Desmond Collins and colleagues recognized it as a new giant predatory shrimp: Hurdia, a larger relative of the one called Anomalocaris, but with a wackier covering shell (this is a Burgess Shale creature after all !). Here's the Science article. And a picture so you can write in and disagree about whether it looks like a Klingon spaceship.


Gannet get any worse ? Whale, it can
Remember the video of gannets dive-bombing a baitball, from a couple of weeks ago ? It turns out that the Great Sardine Run produces even more fantastic behavior. If you thought seabirds swimming around underwater alongside sharks to catch fish was strange, check this video out ! Fish packed into a ball, being troubled from the surface by gulls, from underneath by penguins, and along comes a humpback ... this is easily the most beautiful video I've seen in a long, long time - and that's no red herring. Just be warned that you might grin so hard you fall off your chair.

Honey, I bashed up the hive
Another connection to a past Llamasaurus tale. The Goualougo chimps are monkeying around some more. This time though, they're not taking it out on termites, but saving their engineering talent and patience to get a sugar fix. And willing to bash away at a hive hundreds of times with a heavy club. Which seems a terrible thing to do to such unselfish animals as bees. Oh, the things some folks will do to satisfy a sweet tooth ...

Lighten up !

KT sent in this essay. He warns that it is "1) a first draft only of an amusing musing and 2) it was three-and-a-half years ago and some specimens mentioned herein no longer are on display". Thanks KT, for the musings and the photographs !

I spent time this morning's volunteer shift walking from wall to case to hall to case to back to hall to sign... tracing holes in skulls.
The more generations the genotypic and by skull phenotypic timeline, over time, in general, the more holes in the head. Fish, amphibians, reptiles, dinosaurs, archaeopteryx, cynodonts, birds, mammals... The longer the lineage, the more holes in the head.

I enjoyed the tracing, about fifteen minutes. Added, changed since I last was here: a frog or toad skeleton, some snake skeletons... cool. Mammals and birds don't have as many physical holes in their skulls, you note correctly, yet different the holes are, too, and don't forget that birds and mammals are more recent lineages than the former, but still with us some are. Through the various skulls finer branches of the lineage may be traced. I appreciate the Probainognathus jenseni cross between Romer and the D.T.&.M. exhibit space into mammals... the Cassowary skull, the big horn sheep skull, and the Stegoceras vaiidus skull: all butters. The Rhyncocephalian control. Throughout time trends lightness of skull, perhaps by weight as well as volume. Specialization, natural selection, time... whatever incremental service the incremental holes in the in the head shifting and growing provided promoted and survived. Insects had existed for hundreds of millions of years then all of a sudden took wing. A lighter, more agile head, over time, would mean easier lunch and insects able to literally take off certainly would have initiated a cycle with ancient amphibians and reptiles flying and snapping each round. Who is to say'? No one I've ever heard of has ever been then. Air happened, and that was light, and new lineages evolved to live in air, in or on land, and, for some, in the air, and for some still the sea; yes? (must I research this?)-and in those on land after insects there is this trend over time: more holes and,maybe, for most, lighter skulls.

For hundreds of millions of years; traceable in the trained in I am halls. Mouth holes, eye holes, nostril holes, then ear holes, down into the lower jaw holes, the skull inside the skin uncovering the top of the head underneath holes, which don't necessarily uncover a brain. Animals with skulls have brains---and every brain can be smart enough to exist and survive in the conditions of its species' natural economy, naturally, or else the species' skull itself would not be with us now as aren't many skull's species, lines, and lineages I traced through the halls of the museum earlier today. The human skull is thick, hard, and completely encases the brain, its holes for our taste and food and smell, for our sight and our hearing. The brain itself does not lie exposed softness yet under skin and soft tissue directly but feels through those sense's orifices. Covered thus, the human brain cannot in any way be said to truly touch the universe, its holey lightheaded mysteries speculation and theory but only under skull: thick, hard, but with some senses. Better reception for sense use may lead to increased holey-ness over time, if selected for. I therefore encourage all of us humans to fully use and engage our common senses, for to survive as a species we may truly need to like... well: how else to say it? Like: we need another hole in the head."

Look Ma, No Hands

Another week, another fish story. This one's about a little fish with big fang-like teeth. Except that the teeth aren't teeth, they're extensions of the jaw bones. And I used to think a tooth was a tooth was a tooth. Move over all ye zebrafish, here comes the "Smilodon" fish.

Drinking like a fish can make you reel a bit, but try drinking like an elephant sometimes. Elephants in the Kalahari Desert have been observed using their trunks to skim clean water off the surface of waterholes -- another example of good honest science being done by natural history film units. What big trunks they have, see how they skim !

I can attest to the peskiness of baby macaque monkeys - these little bounders would often get too close to sleepy students, promptly get scared and run back wailing to their mums, following which the said mums would bring reinforcements and start fights with you. Remind you of human toddlers ? Well, this should convince you how little we differ from our primate cousins - apparently baby monkeys throw tantrums, which their mothers usually ignore, unless someone's watching ! So the next time you see kids bawling their heads off in a crowded supermarket, have a care - they're just monkeying around.

Haven't seen Bucky around in a while, and I hope it's not because of these folks. I caught these two red-tailed hawks (Buteo jamaicensis oxfordstreeticus) last Sunday, enjoying the sun like most other Cambridgers. And with the trees still leafless, even an utter dunce like me managed to spot and photograph them - almost like Birdwatching for Dummies. Now all we need are some names for these local dinosaurs: I'm sure you can come up with less appalling ones than Manny the (mani)raptor (and his mate Womanny), so do write in with your suggestions and save these poor birds from needless cruelty !

Cheerio, and have a lovely week.

Inimitable contrivances

Yet another week where the stories all seem to center around fish ... and me running out of stale jokes. Send me some, dear readers, while you chew over this new basket of fish tales.

We've all heard of binocular vision, but this fish has eyes like telescopes. While every other animal has eyes with lenses that focus light and make images on a retina, deep sea denizens called spookfish are absolutely unique in their optics - they use reflecting mirrors instead ! Most astronomical telescope makers prefer mirrors instead of lenses, since they tend to be more efficient at collecting faint amounts of starlight and produce sharper distortion-free images. The first person to highlight the advantages of mirrors over lenses was Isaac Newton - but of course, he had no clue that the same design was being used for millions of years, solving a very similar problem in the low-light environment of the deep ocean. This story appeared around January 2009, but I bring it up because it showed up in this week's episode of Material World, a science show on BBC Radio. Material World is one of the best radio/podcast science program available, and features great stories, lively debates and bad puns galore. Another fantastic weekly science radio show is Quirks & Quarks, on CBC's Radio One. Check them out, and look through the large archive of previous shows that you can listen to -- one of the best ways to get through mind-numbing tasks.

Now fish oil is supposed to be great for the brain, but methinks it can't really be that good: after all, it didn't help the fish that ended up in the jar of oil, right ? (Give me a break, folks - it's been a hard week). However, fish were swimming about with their cranial computers long before anything even considered crawling out of the water. A recent fossil find looks at the mineralized brain of a 300 million year-old iniopterygian (an extinct relative of sharks and ratfishes) from Kansas, imaging its fossilized optic nerves and auditory regions in fantastic detail. But wait, these sharks were swimming around in Kansas ?? They must have had rocks for brains !

One of the most spectacular annual rituals in the marine world is the Great Sardine Run. Every year millions of sardines congregate in the warm currents off the South African coast, in turn attracting hordes of hungry predators all eager for the treat. The dolphins first herd the sardines into huge whirling masses called 'baitballs', at which point sharks join in the festivities, as do Cape gannets that dive-bomb the baitballs from the air and swim underwater picking out fish ! The sight of a gannet swimming around nonchalantly alongside sharks and dolphins is quite unforgettable - and if at first you find it unbelievable, you can watch the video again and again: packing into sardines, or gannet get any worse ?


I went out to the hazel wood,
Because a fire was in my head,
And cut and peeled a hazel wand,
And hooked a berry to a thread;
And when white moths were on the wing,
And moth-like stars were flickering out,
I dropped the berry in a stream
And caught a little silver trout.
- W B Yeats, Song of the Wandering Aengus

Someday I'd like to experiment and see how well "berries on a thread" work to catch fish. In the meantime, our nearest dearest relatives have figured out how to land an easier (perhaps tastier) catch. While tool use among chimpanzees is old news, a recent paper shows fascinating evidence of technology development - a small group of Central African chimps seem to have invented some nifty new tools to fish for termites. First a termite-fishing primer: find yourself a nice termite mound; then poke some holes in it with a stick. Next, insert a flexible stem into the hole and wait for some termites to angrily bite into it. Withdraw, slurp up those proteins and repeat. However, if you're a chimp with a Goualougo Triangle education, you would first chew on the stem to flare the end out - that way you can catch up to 10 times as many termites, see. As the old saying goes, teach a chimpanzee to fish and you feed him for life.

I wonder if I could get them to fix my bicycle one of these days.

A very ancient and fish-like smell

Heard a number of fish stories this week, at least three of which are worth repeating.

The Gogo formation, an ocean reef that ended up in the middle of the Australian desert, has thrown up another fi.. err .. funny fossil. Except that this fossil apparently sat around in a museum for about 30 years before being reinterpreted (did I hear something about going slow & looking closely ?) Placoderms were armored fish, distantly related to today's sharks and bony fishes, that swam around during the Devonian, and died out in the same great extinction that took out the trilobites. This placoderm was an early arthrodire, a variety with even more armor than usual, and some neat features like a movable neck and armor plates instead of teeth. A bit like how a medieval knight out for a swim might look (sans horse and lance perhaps). What makes this particular find fascinating is the presence of fossil embryos inside some of the fish, and what might have been some kind of claspers for use in mating. Read all about the convergent evolution of claspers, or how to keep that fish from getting away.

Throw in sex, and one thing usually leads to another. In this case, I was led to a story from last year that illustrates the next chapter in the tale: live birth. Head-down baby whales last week, pregnant placoderms this time (and I thought water birthing was a fad). Gogo read about Attenborough's mother fish.

So it looks like the ichthyosaurs were just reinventing yet another old strategy. Time for this week's question: how many times did live birth get invented as animals went in and out of water ? Write in with your lists, readers and contributors !

Legged like a man and his fins like
arms! Warm o' my troth! I do now let loose
my opinion; hold it no longer: this is no fish
- The Tempest, Act II, Scene 2

This next fish only sat on a shelf for about 17 years, but is a catch worth bragging about. It walks on the sea floor, swims about with jet propulsion, but balls up and bounces along the seabed every once in a while. And in spite of a face to launch a thousand squids, this anglerfish holes up in tiny crevices and ambushes curious wanderers. Histiophryne psychedelica, or how I learnt to stop tripping and love the snorkel. Now in technicolor.

Legged like men, though, was whoever left these footprints. And left-legged too. Escape from bad onomatopoeia, and run away to read about this leap of evolution.

You can never run away too far however, especially if you're a crocodile. Hoping to confound the bearings of these persistent navigators, humans are now resorting to magnets, because the theory out there is that crocodiles somehow use magnetic fields to find their way back home from hundreds of miles away. As far as I've been able to find out though, there doesn't seem to be any serious study reporting the use of magnetic compasses in crocodiles ... if you know of any sources write in and make a crocodile-fan happy. As for whether the magnets will actually work to confuse them, my money's on the archosaurs. As one Thai proverb goes, don't teach a crocodile to swim.¹

This of course says the same thing as that old Roman saw - piscem natare doces - you're teaching a fish to swim. Evidently it isn't just old jokes and fish fins that get recycled.

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1) สอนจระเข้ว่ายน้ำ (son jarakeh wai-naam)

If Nature had intended us to fly, she would have given us fingers

You cannot learn to fly by flying. First you must learn to walk, then to run, then to climb, then dance.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Nietzsche should perhaps have added swimming to that list - but then again, there are more things on earth than are dreamt of by philosophers, so on to this week's list.

Here is a lecture on the evolution of flight by John Maynard Smith. Maynard Smith started off as an aeronautical engineer designing planes during World War II, but is much more famous for his work in using game theory to understand animal behaviour. This lecture is especially fun because Maynard Smith applies basic aerodynamics to make a pretty deep observation about the evolution of flight in animals. Flying, as far as we know, independently evolved four times: among insects, pterosaurs, birds and bats. Maynard Smith shows how a tail is necessary for flight stability, and how as the ability to fly develops, all four groups seem to have moved to shorter tails and more complicated flight controls for better maneouvrability. I was delighted to look at the fossil of the bat Icaronycteris this week, and see how bats had long tails too when they evolved during the Eocene !

In comparison, animals seem to have independently evolved aquatic lifestyles many more times. My list so far has ichthyosaurs, plesiosaurs, mosasaurs, whales & dolphins, seals (?), elephants ... and I'm surely missing some (Can you think of any more ? Write in and let me know !) I wonder if aerodynamics also constrains the evolution of swimming animals. Anyway, what we do know from this past week are more details of the path that whales took, about all the walking and running and giving-birth-head-first that they did before taking to the water like a .. err ... like a fish: here's the tale of the good mother whale. Or an awful limerick - take your pick.

Whale was once a land-lubber
Who would wallow in pools and slumber.
Slowly, his hands became fins
So his legs he traded in
For some flukes and a coat of blubber.

Bears don't fly, but they surely know how to walk, and run, and swim very well. I was brought up to believe that the Jungle Book song couldn't be true, but bears can dance too ! And get themselves some bare necessities while they're at it: a sort of fish slapping dance.

If all this makes you feel bad for the poor salmon though, you might just be looking out for family -- so cheer up and have a whale of a week.

A Jawful of Ears

Been 'earing a lot of things this week. First off, an article for biologically-challenged physicists about echolocating bats & dolphins that I found from Sep 2007. Evidently, dolphins reverted to the older listen-through-your-jawbone formula - do jawbones work better as acoustic antennas in water ? Those clicks and whistles do a lot more than just find food though. Take a look at this beautiful set of videos from lifeonterra.com: Ocean Acrobats gets both thumbs and both toes up.

Elephants, which of course can never make up their minds about anything ⁽¹⁾, pick up low-frequency sounds through their feet and then pass them on to their ears. Now some primates want to use these signals to lure marauding pachyderms to safety: Elephantine Valentine messages ?

Now I've heard of cats climbing trees, but catfish climbing up trees sounds a little ... fishy. Not content with inventing radio communication, some catfish apparently decided to go out on a limb. They're launching satellites next, as you read this.

And, here's Bucky !










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^{1) KT, who has often said.}